The Show

And now the post we've all been waiting for.  

It's over!  I did it.  I reached my goal to go from labor and delivery to bikini competition in under a year.    And I actually feel like I was ready for it (as opposed to just doing the competition).  

The breakdown of the week before the competition is this:

I was at my parents' house with my girls.  Jerry cut out my 2nd cardio workout of the day and I was so happy about that.  I didn't have to have them babysit twice a day!  So I was doing one 35 minute intervals session and lifting weights.  

The first part of the week I only got to eat 1/2 cup of oats and the rest of my calories were protein and fat.  It was awful.  I had zero energy.  Then he added back in a whole bunch of carbs and I was a much happier Kelli.

I started taking a diuretic (water pill) on Monday.  On Friday I cut out drinking water completely.  For like 10 minutes.  Then I just sucked on ice or sipped when I was thirsty.  I had to cut out as much water weight as I could so I looked more cut and my muscles popped.  

On Thursday I got my hair done.  I decided to go a little darker.  We picked Dark Blonde for the roots and Light Blonde for the ombre.  Dark Blonde is a little darker than planned.  I'm getting used to it now and I like it for fall.  

Before

After

I got a spray tan on Friday at noon.  Hilarious!  I got to this girl's home salon and she had a little tent.  First she gave me a shower cap I started putting it on.  She was like, "you want to take your clothes off first."  I was like, "all of them?"  "Yep."  "Ok."  So there I am all clothes-less in her tent and she's spraying me with dark brown/orange spray that reeks like... uh... spray tan.  Then she tells me to bend over because I had two little lines under my bum.  It was so awkward.  But I did.  Then I was all, "sorry if there's toilet paper..."  Hehehe.  There wasn't. 

At least my teeth are are ultra white.  

Two days earlier I actually looked like my kids.  Morgan was a little freaked out and wanted me to wash it off.

Show-Time

I woke up at 7 and had to be at Granger High School at 9:30.  It seems like a lot of time but it takes a while to prepare breakfast of 7 egg whites and a cup of oats.  By then I was I was so sick of egg whites.  I couldn't finish the breakfast.  Plus I was already so thirsty and not drinking.

The prejudging was running behind and bikini didn't get on stage until like 1:00.  I was dying of thirst and thinking of how much fun this wasn't.  Back stage stunk like BO and spray tan and everyone was orange.  It was like a stinky, good-looking Oompa Loompa village.

Then it was my turn to go on stage.  They were out of time so they just had us all go together.  I was standing there with a bunch of other girls thinking that I was going to die of dehydration and wondering what the crap I was doing to myself.  It sucked.  And the judges didn't even look at me.  I can honestly say that prejudging was not a good experience.  I didn't have fun.  I didn't feel good.  I may have looked okay but I stunk of spray tan and sweat, just like everyone else.

I drove back to my mother-in-law's house where my family was to hang out with them and take a nap before the night show.  I was pretty emotional because of the judging and feeling crappy and being tired.  I just cried on the drive.  I told Tom I was not going to do another show.  I mean, I'm into this thing a whole lot of money.  The least that could have happened is that the judges pretended to look at me too.  Maybe I didn't look like the top 5 but I promise I wasn't bad to look at.  My obliques alone were pretty awesome.

On the plus side, I did get to hang out with some pretty cool girls.  Everyone was nice.  I didn't experience any snobbiness.  And I was happy for everyone that won.  We all worked hard to be where we were.

The girls Jerry trained.  Me, Amanda, Leanne

The night show was more fun.  I got my own time on stage.  I really was happy for those who won.  Leanne took 3rd and 4th in novice and natural.  The thing is, almost everyone looked amazing.  It would be hard to judge.  Plus, everyone likes different things.

I am awarding myself with the most modest swimsuit award.  Tom told me after that my mom was so uncomfortable and that made him so so so uncomfortable.  Hahahaha!  He said many of the suits left little to the imagination.  So thank goodness for Target and Google so I could make my own suit with a little bigger bum.

Here is a video of my minute on stage.  Enjoy!

Then for the best part of the day... Cafe Rio with my parents, Tom, and my friends, Natalie and Caroline.  That pork burrito was worth it all.

I will have more pics of the show later.  I just wanted to post this now.

Life is Like a Friends Episode. Always.

I'm the girl who normally has spray paint on her hands instead of fingernail polish.  And chewed up Sophie crackers on her shirt instead of rhinestones.  

Not Saturday.  

And I'm getting ready.  

On a side note, I've done a lot of thinking through the years about which Friends character I'm most like.  I've always wanted to be more of a Rachel but that's just not me.  

I finally figured it out...

Just call me Dr. Rich.

T Minus 8 Days

The countdown is ON!  In only one week and one day I will be on stage!

Right now is crunch-time.

I'm already in Utah so I can finish training with Jerry and be there for height-check and weigh-in and get my hair done.  Every competitor has to check in in person the day before the show or we get DQ'd.  I'll also need to get a spray tan -- I'm going to look so unrealistically dark in real life but on stage it will be great.

I met with Jerry today to work on my back (lift).  He also checked my body fat for the first time since I moved.  A month ago I was 11% body fat and weighed 129.6-131 depending on when I weighed.  Now I am 9% body fat and weigh 129.6.  So I lost fat and gained muscle since I moved which is all I can ask for.  Plus, I hit my competition goal!  Jerry says I'm there.  It's a good thing since the competition is here.

This week is where I will do things to dramatically change my body.  And it's really the only unhealthy part of the whole process, which is why it's only for a week (actually 5 days).

To be on stage, you want to look as lean and cut as you can.  To do that, some (or most) competitors have to lose water weight that week.  I will be taking a diuretic and will probably lose 5 pounds of water.  Like I said, not healthy.  Not sustainable.  But only for 5 days.  And I will gain that weight back the night the show is over.

I have still been doing 3 days of lower carbs and a day of high carbs.  That is changing now.  For 2-3 days I'll be super low carbs and then no carbs for a couple of days.  A few days before the show I will carb load to bulge my muscles.  I honestly never knew that so much went into this.  It has been really neat to see what happens with different things.

If you don't follow me on Instagram (@losscausekelli), here is a before/after.  The before was taken 4 months ago.

Reach your goals!

Up 4 Pounds!

Well guess who decided to show up unannounced after almost 2 years.  That's right.  Aunt Flo and her boyfriend, 4 pounds of water retention.  I literally texted Jerry and asked if I should be freaking out.  The answer is no.  The good thing is that it is only water weight and that I'll lose it by show-time.  The bad news is that I'm all squishy now and that's not encouraging.

Let me just tell you that it's a good thing the show is in 2 weeks and 3 days.  Because. I. Am. Burnt. Out.  Or is it "burned" out?  Either way, I am.  I am done with 2-a-days and not being able to go out to eat with my family.   I am tired of horse-pill sized supplements.  But I'm not tired of looking the best I've ever looked.  That's fun.  I think mostly my family is ready for me to be able to go out with them again.  Morgan asks all the time if we can go to a restaurant and Tom can't wait to go on an actual date with me that includes both of us eating the restaurant food.  It's been 4 months.  Since June!

Of course I'm keeping the focus for the sprint to the finish line.  My whole goal was to go from the labor & delivery room to a bikini competition in 1 year (and look ready for it, obviously).  I'm going to make it, dang it!

Here is the flyer with the info for the show.  If I were you and coming to watch it, I'd probably go to the  night show.  It starts at 6pm at Granger High School on October 19th.  It's $30 to get in (kind of pricy, I know, but there will be some cool looking body builders there).  I would love to see people I know there but I'm not going to guilt anyone into coming.  Come if you want.  If you do come, find me after and say hi!

Not Skinny!

I was so wrong last weekend when I said the competition was 3 weeks away.  It's not on the 12th.  It's on the 19th!  So now it's 3 1/2 weeks until I get my batch of cookies and pork burrito.  But that's okay.  A relief, actually.  I'm almost ready but there are some tricks I still need to accomplish before then.  

Suit:

I got my suit!  First of all, there's no way I'm spending $250 +++ on a swimsuit, which is the price of a nice blingy suit.  Unless I'm being paid to be in it, it's not worth it.  So I did some internet-ing and found a how-to on competition bikini making.  It started with a trip to Target and another to Hobby Lobby.  After all is said and done, my blinged-out suit cost maybe $50.  

Recipe:

I have a recipe to share.  It's kind of like chicken salad, but without the fat and calories of real chicken salad with mayo.  I don't have exact measurements so if you do it you'll have to just do it according to taste.  

Put thawed chicken breasts in the food processor.  Once they are ground and not chunky, add celery.  Real stocks of celery.  Then add some ranch seasonings (or Italian or Caesar salad dressing seasoning). Cook it like you would cook ground beef.  Put it over salad with rice.  Enjoy!

There are a couple of things I want to address.  I've had some comments where people are concerned that I'm not at a healthy body weight or that I'm making my readers think that being "skinny" is the thing to be.

During this entire process I have been at a healthy body weight for my height.  I am 5'8" and from start to finish (post baby until now) I have been between 170 and 129 pounds.  I should be anywhere from 126-167 pounds according to healthdiscovery.net.

I do not like the word "skinny."  I am not skinny.  I am healthy.  I am fit.  I eat a lot.  I lift weights.  Anyone could do the things I do and get the results I get.  It has taken 10 months to get where I am so if anyone is looking for a quick weight-loss plan, this is not it.  BUT, this is a healthy weight-loss plan.  And when I say "weight," I mean "fat."  I have gained muscle and lost fat, which I think is most people's goal.  So yes, I do have a low body fat percentage and no, I am not unhealthy nor skinny.

I teach my daughter the difference in "treats" and healthy food.  She would choose treats all the time and I let her sometimes.  I don't ever say "skinny" or say that I'm fat.  I don't want her to focus on those things.  She needs to learn how to eat well and I'm trying to teach that.

The second thing I want to address is pictures of me in a bikini.  Honestly, I'm not super comfortable in a bikini.  I go to church and there are a lot of judgers at church.  I don't love that.  I've been called "worldly" behind my back by someone who was once a good friend.  Most people understand but I guess I feel like I have to explain it to that small percentage.  I'm not doing this for sexual attention.  I am doing this as a goal for me and I post it on my blog to motivate others.  Not to brag, not for attention.

The pictures below are of me before my phone call with Jerry yesterday.  I made breakfast for my family before and changed a poopy diaper after.  I feel like I'm going to roll my ankle in 4 1/2 inch heels.  All of those things are real life.  My life.  Not a fantasy.  But I love it!

PS  The tanning bed has done wonders.

3 Weeks Out!

Three weeks to C-day.  That's "cookie" day for those of you who didn't know.  And when I say "day" I really mean night because the show gets over late.  

I'm excited!  I'm excited both for the show and the after party (dinner).  I have worked so so so hard and I am seeing insane results.  Of course there is always room for improvement, but that's what March is for (the next show-- if I do it).  

For the next two weeks I'll be doing phone training with Jerry.  That's basically where I have Tom take a picture of me posing and send it to Jerry and he tells me what I need to do to be ready.  Right now I'm trying to build my glutes so I work them twice a week.  

I'm still on two-a-day cardio.  I do 35 minutes of intervals in the morning and 45 minutes in HR zone later in the day. 

I'm also still on high/low carb days.  I like different things about both menus.  My favorite "treat" is Smart Balance butter.  At first I couldn't eat the stuff without gagging unless it was on food (how normal people eat it).  Now I just eat plain-ole SB butter.  It's kind of like eating Lindt chocolate balls.  You know, the texture, not the taste.  But it does taste good.

I really need a cookie.

I have my suit!  I'll do a post about it later this week.  It's turquoise.

Oh, and I started tanning in the tanning bed.  The first day I only did it for 8 minutes and didn't really get much so the next day I did 12 minutes.  Totally burned my entire front torso.  Ouch!  I'm so getting skin cancer.  Crap!  But don't worry, the next day I tanned with a shirt over my front torso to get my back.  Now my butt is a little pink and the cancer will be balanced.

We just moved to Idaho and I had to get a new gym.  I found one a few miles from my house.  It's open 24/7 and has tanning beds.  Plus it's kind of a great deal for Idaho -- $20/month for gym and tanning plus $30/month for babysitting for both of my kids.  Wooh!  The bad news is that I have zero cell phone reception there so no chatting during cardio.

Training while moving was awful.  I didn't exercise for a few days and my eating was off.  I didn't progress during that time but I got right back on and things are looking good for the show.

Well, I just wanted to give you a quick update.  And I want to invite you to the competition!  It's Saturday, October 12 at 6 PM.  Mark it on your calendars.  It will be in Salt Lake City.  I'll give you more deets soon.  But for real, come.

5 Weeks 5 Days, and Counting!

A lot has happened since I last posted.

I went to my first body competition (to watch).  Oh. My. Goodness.  What have I gotten myself into.  There's a possibility that I didn't realize that you're up there in this tiny bikini under high school auditorium lights trying to walk in 4 1/2 inch heels.  Every little extra ounce of fat jiggles.  Not cool.  And this is on girls who look amazing.  Fingers crossed that I can make it in 5 weeks and 5 days.

I stopped nursing when Sophie turned 9 months.  She also grew two teeth and thinks it's funny to bite.  So not funny.  Anyway, now I am taking some supplements.  I take pyruvate, amino acids, CLA, essential fatty acids, fat burner, and Blitzz (energy).  I'll be honest.  I don't like supplements.  It's too soon to tell if they are working and they make me nauseated after I take them.  Plus, swallowing like 10 big pills is not fun.

I now weigh around 130 lbs.  Once in a while I hit the 129's but it usually bounces back up.  I don't care about weight and I would love to gain some more muscle.

I'm 10.8% body fat.  I have another 2-3 to go for the show.  It's getting so close!

I've been able to run a couple of 5Ks.  The first was The Color Run (so much fun!).  If you have the chance to do it, DO IT!

The next was for Leamarado Days.  That's the celebration of the town next to the town I'm from.  I always run the 5k and this year I took 2nd while pushing Morgan in the jogger.  It's a small race but fun to be there.

You know I'm planning what I'm going to eat the night of the show (when it's over).  Right now I'm thinking of sharing a pork burrito from Cafe Rio then going home to have milk chocolate chip cookies/dough.  Not just a cookie.  A batch.  And my mom said she'd make some of her delish frosting for me.

It's been pretty hard lately to not be burnt out.  I am doing low/high carb days.  That is 3 days of low carbs/calories and 1 day of high.  On the low days I don't get fruit and I really have no meals to look forward to.  I mean, there's only so much to do with chicken and rice, especially when you can't add salt (which I am not supposed to do anymore -- and for me that has been the hardest of this whole thing).

Here are a whole bunch of shameless selfies for you:

With just the right posing and lighting, I've got cut abs!

Before's in June (top left).  Then end of July (ish).

End of August

As hard as it can be at times, it's worth it!  I feel so good.  I mentally needed this after all the baby weight I put on.  It has taken 9 months to get to where I am now!